Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Second pregnancy

I thought being pregnant with the second child would be much easier than the first.

I was wrong.

Severe nausea, lost of appetite, exhaustion and mood swing are amongst the symptoms. Plus, my daughter has suddenly becoming extra cranky, crying for attention everytime I am around. She refuses to be with someone else including her father, despite being scolded and ignored by me.

I noticed that I have becoming more vocal lately. I find it easy to show my emotions, disagreements, and opinions without being afraid of rejection and criticism. Or maybe I am just being protective with my emotions and feelings so rather than getting hurt, I'd rather speak up? Sometimes when my husband talks a bit louder than usual (not yelling though), I'd tell him to slow down his voice and not to get mad for no reason. Lucky me, he understands 😁

During the last pregnancy, I stayed with my parents so I didn't have to do the chores. This time, I have to do everything by myself, and of course with countless help from my husband. But I tell you, it takes me a week or more to do things that can be done within an hour or so in a normal state like folding the clothes, sweeping the floor, etc. 

The first trimester was tough. The beginning of the second trimester is going well so far, hopefully it will lasts till the end. 


Monday, March 13, 2017

Silent Arguments

I have been working here for over 4 years. I have to admit that I have gained a lot of new experience and valuable knowledge throughout my service, not to mention having good bunch of people as my second family.

But there's one little thing that makes me unhappy. Just this one thing.

There's no room to share your ideas for improvement cause these people, who work here all their lives couldn't adapt to changes. They are more comfortable to do the same routine the same way, without any modification by saying that, "that's the practice."

Bullshit.

I argued with my manager few times saying that some practices are no longer applicable, most companies don't do it anymore bla bla bla. And everytime we had these arguments, he'd be saying "that's the practice."

And with that, I can't believe I'm still here.

Maybe one day, I'll leave.

Or maybe I should have left earlier?

Or maybe he's the one to leave, and not me?

Or... oh I don't know.

Friday, December 23, 2016

Start Fresh

It's been 2 years since my last update. 2 years. I decided to hide all my previous posts for no reason (or to make ways for new stories to come in, maybe?)

A lot of things took place in the past 2 years, and I'm glad that everything (read: almost everything) seems to be better than before. There are a lot of stories to tell, but for the start, instead of reminiscing the old times why don't we start fresh?

I don't think it's necessary to wait until new year or specific time to start fresh. We can do it anytime. For instant, whenever we feel down, defeated, demotivated, take a deep breath and start over. Starting over may seem hard in the first place, but you'll be surprised how fast things will fall into places again.

Sometimes starting over means you're being a different person - no longer the person you used to be. Don't blame yourself for it, accept the change. Quit the boring job, the abusive relationship, the past. Embrace the unknown, the future. Meet new people, and trust me, you'll be surprised by how much you'll learn from them. If you're defeated, accept it, close the battle and move on. You might lose something or someone, your hopes are broken down and maybe so is the heart but remember: you can't have a new victory until you close your current battle.

I'm not saying saying that I am a self-motivated kind of person. At some point of time, I'd need someone to support me and tell me, "You can do it". Problems come and go, confront them, correct what's wrong and solve the problem. Giving up is an option, and if you ask me, it's a final option. 

Remember, it's never too late to start fresh.
Till the next post.